Photos of Susan cause my imagination neuron-firings to multiply exponentially. That’s my biochemical reaction to her muse-ed-ness. So as I stare at this picture, my being involuntarily imagines this scenario (edited for a PG rating):
Actors: Me. Susan Coffey.

(Me wandering through a forest. Why? Because. Shut up.)

(I notice a blonde leaning casually on a tree in minimal black lingerie. I move closer to investigate.)

(Me): Susan? Susan Coffey?

(Susan Coffey): Shhhh. I’m in disguise.

(Me): Disguise?

(SC): Yeah. See the wig? The blonde wig?

(Me): Oh, it’s a wig? You didn’t bleach it?

(SC): WTF do you think I’m an idiot? Why would I ruin my already perfect hair? Anyway, I like to go incognito sometimes, you know? Blend in and stuff. So people don’t notice me. Like in Shakespeare. Mingle with the masses without drawing attention to myself.

(Me): Uhhhh…

(SC): What?

(Me): Nothing.

(SC): So how did you know it was me?

(Me): Uhhhh…

(SC): Ya know, I’ve never really done this before, but you’re pretty hot. Wanna throw down?

So even though it’s my fantasy, I still wind up sounding like a doofus. I’m even bashful with her in my imagination. In most of my pretend conversations with her, though, I’m brilliant, charming, and overwhelmingly magnetic. Which ultimately leads to her inability to resist me. In this one, I pretty much just cut to the chase.

Kinda seems like Susan’s on some kind of metaphorical pilgrimage. I’m sure it’s a valuable time, but I miss her and I hope she shows up again soon.

Photo by Insuh Yoon.



A thought struck me. Susan is currently in college, right? In fact, she’s probably coming up on midterms. Which means she’s actually physically present in classrooms with other students and a teacher and desks and other schoolish stuff. Looking like this. Granted, I don’t think she actually wears glasses. And she probably doesn’t wear a tie. Or a white, button-down manshirt. But whatever she’s wearing, she’s setting the curve. In many ways. First, the teacher clearly decided from the moment he set eyes on her that she would get an A+ for the semester. What if it’s a woman? No matter. Even women can’t resist. Second, all of the other students are in a sorry state of FAILURE because they’re too busy staring at her and fumbling with their pencils (tee-hee) and generally feeling very happy with themselves that they switched their major to hers to be in the same classroom with such a scientific specimen. And third, I have decided that she is a brilliant genius.

• She makes my division long.
• She conjugates my verb.
• She makes my chemistry organic.
• I want to survey her history.
• She’s my PE activity.

Anyway, Susan recently interviewed with Matthew Robinson on his radio show The Final Cut. As far as I know, this is the only real interview with Susan, audio or written. For that reason alone, I’m a big fan of his show. But on top of that, he actually does a great job on the air and has had quite a few interesting guests thus far. But I’m plugging him right now in particular because I want to see Susan back on the show. Call it an encore. Call it Act 2. Call it a sequel to last month’s blockbuster hit. But if you’re as interested as I am in learning yet more about Miss Coffey, you want to see another interview happen. Maybe if we make a ruckus about it she’ll get the hint and DO IT. Maybe if you comment here, maybe if you comment over at Matthew’s site, maybe if you leave notes on her deviantart and facebook, maybe. Just maybe. What’s that old saying about persistence? Actually, I don’t know if there is one, but there’s something to be said for being so annoying that she’ll do it just to get us to shut up.

Photo by Sito.

Here at susancoffey.net, my motto is “Susan-Respect” Of COURSE, (along with “Clap if you believe in the Coffey fairy”). That’s why you’ll never read any overtly obscene or otherwise lewd language my dear. about My Fair Lady. Because she IS a lady—a beautiful, intelligent, upstanding woman. Painfully sexy? Yes. But still a professional. Not only that, but she’s someone’s daughter. Two people’s daughter, actually, if everything happened as it usually does. And even when presented with a photo such as the one above, it is our duty to show nothing but gentlemanly respect I would LOVE for someone in such a position… err, someone so gorgeous.

If you ever WERE to read something slightly suggestive or provocative from me regarding Susan, to come at you I assure you it would be only subconscious, a Freudian-slip, as it were, and come across purely on subliminal levels. Like if you were to mouse over the blank spaces in this post, from behind. for example, any hidden message that might appear would have been sucked straight from my… Id.

Photo by Exotic Pose Photography. Just in case you didn’t see it. Because I didn’t notice it until about my tenth viewing.