Biography


As written by Brad, the former webmaster of SusanCoffey.net…

Legend tells of a legendary model, whose beauty was the stuff of LEGENDS. Her name? Susan E. Coffey. She was born in the Chinese year of the Horse, February 13, 1990. Historical records provide scant information, but it’s believed she was born in Metuchen, New Jersey, still her current place of residence.

Though few written records exist of her early childhood, oral traditions passed down through the years indicate that Susan’s extraordinary, superhuman beauty manifested itself almost from birth. Kings and Queens descended upon the sleepy Metuchen bearing gifts and prophesying in her presence about her future influence over all mankind. As a young girl, nary a man, woman, or child passed her by without being cured of having a bad day.

As she grew into early adulthood and while attending high school at Metuchen High, she began to understand better her precious gift and how she was destined to use it for the betterment of our race. Through the support and influence of those around her (some say through their worship) she adopted the mission of presenting her corporeal existence to the world for the purpose of fostering peace among nations, deepening our understanding of artistic expression, and producing many boners (even woman-boners).

Thus was born the career of the ultimate model. Since that time she has given her spirit to the cameras of such photographers as Sito Alvina, Insuh Yoon, Brandon Herman, and many others. She has also modeled for several retailers, including Between the Sheets Lingerie, Dirty Addiction, and Heretic City.

Miss Coffey currently attends Rutgers University, with a Communication major and Psychology minor.

Quick facts:

  • She plays the piano.
  • Her favorite movie is Groundhog Day (though at one time she was partial to John Tucker Must Die).
  • Her belly button is pierced.
  • Her ears appear to be double-pierced.
  • She has a younger brother.
  • She has a Pomeranian named Luna.
  • She has a green tree frog named Potato.
  • She seems to be a general animal lover.
  • She’s a vegetarian.
  • She is gifted at and enjoys sewing her own clothes and costumes, when she gets the chance.
  • She plays (or used to play) World of Warcraft. Class and server are unknown. (I’m guessing she’s a druid.)
  • As a result of her visit with Sito Alvina in the summer of 2011, she now is a Geocacher.
  • She’s a Teen Titans fan and particularly relates to Raven’s cynicism.

(Yes, I also am amazed at how long I made this biography with so few actual facts about her.)